Friday, July 15, 2016
INTERVIEWER: Why did you kill the prophet Balaam (peace be upon him)?
YOU: HIM?! Because he was an asshole! (pardon my French) He hit that donkey!
INTERVIEWER: Why did he hit the donkey?
YOU: Because it was acting scared, and didn't want to go in the direction prophet asshole wanted.
INTERVIEWER: Why was it acting scared?
YOU: Because the angel of the Lord showed himself.
INTERVIEWER: The donkey was reacting to the sight of the angel?
INTERVIEWER: Balaam didn't see the angel?
YOU: Well... no. Not yet.
INTERVIEWER: What did Balaam do when he DID see it?
YOU: He prostrated himself.
INTERVIEWER: So the very second Balaam saw the messenger of the Lord thy God, he IMMEDIATELY fell on his face in submission? lol
INTERVIEWER: In fact, the entire Old Testament account of Balaam's story demonstrates that, in addition to his impressive powers of second sight [interviewee's face frowns & reddens], he always did exactly what the Lord thy God commanded of him. Balaam was definitely, and objectively, a true prophet of God. So, why did you kill him again?
YOU: I can't have a conversation with an Anti-Semite! This interview is over! Spew your filth elsewhere, asshole!